There’s an indescribable delicate balance between the male and feminine principle, which often, but not solely, we attribute to a man and woman in that order. Or in other words, men and women are still finding ways to get along with one another in the modern world and we’re doing so in a shifting environment of roles, expectations and even traditional institutions that influenced male and female behavior.
Our society may still be generally, patriarchal, but within these boundaries, there’s a shift going on in the universe. Going out on a date with a man who was 23 years my senior really allowed me to explore these differences and the way things have changed (and remain the same). He spoke the entire time about himself. Yes, I was interested, very much so, because I found the man to have so much wisdom and intelligence, but not once did he ask me about me.
It’s more than that though. Perhaps fifty or more years ago, there were expectations of women that dealt with cooking, cleaning, sewing, and perhaps obeying their husbands. I witnessed some of this first hand in my own household with this paradigm. However, there was also lots of verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse in the home. There was a feeling of abandonment. Egos went unchecked. Adult insecurities seeped into children’s psyches as we clung to traditional notions whether they were fulfilling or not. The family unit that was supposed to secure us, snuffed us out.
But hey, we’re just being human beings the best way we know how. I get that.
This is why I don’t think being single is such a sin. Some of us are not sinful. We’re just ZENFUL. We want to understand our mate and love him or her on that higher level. Yes, it does take great sacrifice, as some of us traverse the land for years without a mate to come home to. It’s tough to raise kids single since it’s pretty darn hard raising them with two parents. I admit, though, that I’ve been able to grow in ways that I wouldn’t have if I was married and I’ve pass down that growth to my kids. Life is more experimental, but with that unorthodox approach comes new ideas, new ways to communicate, more consideration of the children’s emotions. Everything isn’t about agreeing with a mate’s political position just to keep that person happy at the detriment of your children’s self-esteem or healthy development.
And yet, you’re still the parent. You have to know that just because you’re son didn’t make the basketball team at his middle school, doesn’t mean you can’t insist he play for his local parks and recreation team. Even when he says he doesn’t want to play basketball anymore. Yeah, his emotions are relevant, but a parent has to be able to properly read those emotions, which for kids a lot times involves fear. But I digress, back to relationships.
I, for one, am glad for the progress women have made as well as appreciate the protective energies of a man. But it’s true, I’m an artsy, progressive, cultural fan of the alternative ways of life, and am holding out for a fellow new-ager. You won’t catch me on CNN complaining why I ain’t got a man, because I’m pretty sure when the time is right, we’ll meet somewhere in this galaxy.
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